


when the imposter is sus

by rosyinnie, Spicycrab



Category: Among Us (Video Game), Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: (but she's very homophobic and also gay), F/F, Food Network - Freeform, M/M, WWE Super ShowDown, asuka is the new mr beast, cause everytime we touch i get this feeling, danganronpa (/neg) references, gamers to lovers, idontgiveashit (lol devilman ova) about this being ooc, kaworu NOOB!?!?, lovers to gamers, me when imposter is sus, part of the big evangelion rush cinematic universe, shinji is a pro gamer, shinji is attempting to capitalize off of dreamnotfound its not working though, the BERCU if you will, twitch streamer boyfriends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29078916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosyinnie/pseuds/rosyinnie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spicycrab/pseuds/Spicycrab
Summary: Fake dating AU... /j they're dating but Shinji pretends like they're not for those sweet sweet queerbait monies on twitch dot tv. Will Shinji become the most famous twitch streamer EVER!?!?!? maybe (not)chapter 1: kaworu SUS!? 😲 😲 😲
Relationships: Ayanami Rei/Souryuu Asuka Langley, Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu
Comments: 39
Kudos: 28
Collections: big evangelion rush cinematic universe





	1. kaworu SUS!? 😲 😲 😲

**CHAPTER 1: KAWORU IS SUS?????**

It all started when Shinji introduced Kaworu with this game that he found on r/dankmemes, Among Us. Kaworu didn’t know much about video games but his boyfriend, Shinji, was a twitch streamer (even though nobody watched his streams) so he knew a little bit about video games. At the very least, he enjoyed playing candy crush and flappy bird on his ipod nano. 

“Shinji, how do I know who is what the lilim call “sus”?” Kaworu asked, struggling to figure out how to play the game. 

“If they like… uh… it’ll make sense. I’m gonna start my stream now.” Shinji had replied, being the pissbaby he is, he was absolute shit at explaining video games. 

“Why is my name red?” (OH SHIT!!)

“You see Kaworu,” moving his gamer headset that he grinded for by working at Gamestop for 10 months (yes Gamestop is still open even though the second impact happened shut up), “It means you uh……. You need to kill the people and the stuff and uh…” 

Kaworu frowned, “Shinji, am I ‘sus’?” feeling absolute anguish, compared to the like 10000 alternate universes in which Kaworu has had to die for Shinji this was the worst. “I can’t kill you Shinji, I love you!” (netflix is fucking fuming rn) Shinji didn’t even know how to reply to him. 

“You have to kill me Kaworu, it’s part of the game,” Shinji sighed but secretly smiling on the inside because he knew he would get more twitch subs by queerbaiting. (is it queerbait if kawoshin real?) “I can help you. Here, give me you ipod nano.” 

“NO!! I won’t kill you!” Kaworu yelled, hiding his ipod nano behind his back, he would (not) be sus, even if it ‘killed’ him. “VOTE ME OFF VOTE ME OFF!!!” But Shinji was determined for those sweet sweet queerbait twitch subs, he couldn’t just let the opporititity (amazing grammar lol(*grammer)) go. 

“No- uh, I’ll work with you!!” He tried. 

“Haha sorry guys, isn’t my boyfriend so cute?” Shinji said, praying and hoping someone will give him $5 for queerbaiting so hard. (ITS NOT FUCKING QUEERBAIT JESS THEY ARE CANON!!11!)

Shinji checked the chat and saw that a person named IHATEQUEERS said ‘shut up shinji everybody knows ur queerbaiting for subs youre just made me and rei are famous’. Shinji threw down his headset and started raging. FUCKING ASUKA RUINING EVERYTHING HE DOES! 

“FUCK YOU ASUK- IHATEQUEERS!!! IT’S NOT FUCKING QUEERBAIT WE’RE DATING FUCK YOU!!!” Due to the raging, about 3 more viewers joined the stream. “OH HEY GUYS!” Shinji said, sitting back down and continuing the game to see that they were now in an emergency meeting because “white sus”. 

“Oh no, who could possibly be sus?” Shinji said, acting as if he was surprised as if his viewers didn’t hear that kaworu was the imposter (insert shitty among us joke). “Let’s check the chat to see who everybody this is sus…” 

Red (IHATEQUEERS): where 

Cyan (rei38837228932): i think that white is sus he keeps following purple (shinji) 

Purple (ShinjiDoesGaming): NO HE DIDDDNT!!!!!! YOURE JUST SAYING.,, THAT BECAUSE UR SUS THIS IS SO MEAN REI I HATE YOU UR RUINING MY TWITCH STERAM OH MY GOD I TOLD U NOT TO SEAY KAWORU SUS EARLY ON 

White (Shinjis_boyfriend): but i love him i am not what lilim call sus i love shinji 

Red (IHATEQUEERS): white then why weren’t you doing any tasks. 

White (Shinjis_boyfriend): what are that 

Purple (ShinjiDoesGaming): LEAVE HIM ALOINE HES NEW TO THE GAME ASUKA UGH YOURE SUCH A BULLY!!!!!!!! I KNEOW URE NOT THE IMPOSTER KAWOTRU……. 

Red (IHATEQUEERS): he’s literally the imposter you fucking g*y people i hate homos, he literally said his name’s red 

Pink (mariuwu): come onnnnnn asuka you cant just say someone is sus because their name is red! nobody even got killed yet wheres the fun in that nya ;) 

(VOTING TIME)   
  
White (Shinjis_boyfriend): who are i vote for i love you shinji who do i vote for 

Red (IHATEQUEERS): its fucking white i swear if you fuckers dont vote white dumbass g*ys 

Purple (ShinjiDoesGaming): NO NO NON ONONO!!!! DO NOT FUKCING VOTE HIM OFF PLEASE NO HE’S NOT FUCKING SUS I HATE YOU ALL !!111 VOTE FOR YELLOW (KensukeDoesIt) HE HASN’T SAID ANYTHING!!! 

Black (TOJIPROGAMES101YT): nah kensuke was just afk because he was busy watching WHAT IS THE NEW AMONG US META?!?!??!?! youtube videos 

White (Shinjis_boyfriend): what if it is black what if it’s you toji what do you think shinji my love i love you what if it’s him 

Yellow (Kensuke_CRAFTZ_DIAMONDS): vote toji off he deserves it after he made fun of me for staying up until 8 am watching among us corpser (lol great grammar guys moment) and aoc stream 

VOTES:

White: 1 vote   
Black: 4 votes   
Purple: 1 vote

TOJIPROGAMES101YT was not the imposter. 1 impost remains. 

“WHO FUCKING VOTED ME?!?!?!” Shinji screamed, having a fucking meltdown over nearly getting Kaworu voted off. 

“Oh, is that bad?” Kaworu asked, “I thought I was just choosing a favorite player.” he said, clearly either being one of the worst Among Us players ever or being smart enough to fake being the worst. 

“DINNER TIME!” Misato crashed in, making Shinji jump out of his gaming chair and stub his toe on his gaming desk. “I brought you your favorite- dino nuggies and chocolate milk! Oh wait, are you streaming right now?” 

Shinji slammed his light up pro 800 dollar headset onto the floor, “CAN’T YOU SEE I’M FUCKING BUSY!?” He yelled, taking the nuggies and placing them on his table. 

“Hello.” Said Kaworu, now playing Among Us completely unsupervised. 

“What game is this? Is this the sus one?” Misato asked, getting into Shinji’s 900 dollar gaming chair without his permission. (WHAT THE HELL MISATO!!/!!?!?!?!/11/!?1) 

“GET OFF MY GAMING CHAIR GET OFF MY GAMING CHAIR GET OFF MY GAMING CHAIR!!!” Shinji angry whispered, trying his best not to cry. His hands shook and he started angrily stomping on the ground. 

“MISATO MY VIEWERS ARE WATCHING ME YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING NOW EVERYBODY IN CLASS IS GOING TO MAKE FUN OF ME AND-” (lol loser) 

“Oops-” Said Kaworu, and suddenly a meeting had started. 

“KAWORU WHAT TH- Kaworu what did you do!?” Shinji tried his best (shaking and crying) in order not to completely blow his boyfriends cover so that there would still be funnie queerbait (not really queerbait). 

“Is sus a new kids swearing word, Shinji!?!” Misato asked sternly, before taking his dino nuggies as punishment. 

Suddenly, Shinji saw on the computer that he was getting a flood of new viewers on his twitch stream. His eyes lit up and saw a new money opportunity. “DON’T TAKE AWAY MY DINO NUGGIES!!!!!!!!” Shinji screeched, grabbed the plate of dino nuggies Misato was holding and shattered it onto the floor. “AMONG US FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

Kaworu clapped because he assumed that this was a play or something, “GOOD JOB!!” he yelled, waving his ipod nano around. 

“KAWORU GET ON THE FACECAM!!” Shinji told him, fueled by pure dino nuggie and Among Us adrenaline. “Oh shit-” and then he saw the chat. 

TWITCH CHAT

Programer123423: check ur game lmao u just got killed 

GaysSUCK420: lol it’s kaworu 

AMONGUSPLAYER1111: sick play dude but yeeeeeah i think kaworu sus 

TheImposterDoesIt2009: this is kinda :weirdchamp: that you dont just admit that its kaworu :omegalul: 

Gaming_Pro_2012: :pog: does this mean the imposter will get kicked out rn 

GaysSUCK420: i sure hope it does! That h*mo should have been kicked from minute one :kappa: 

“NO WAY…” Shinji said, dramatically falling to the ground and putting his hands to his head (eoe reference). “HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN... WHO COULD’VE KILLED ME… WHO WAS SUS…” 

Suddenly, Kaworu got extremely quiet, and placed his ipod nano on the table carefully. “Please forgive me…” he said before literally passing out. 

“HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS IN THE DINO NUGGIES- I MEAN- OH NOOOOO!!” Shinji screamed like a FNAF letsplayer in 2015, secretly pleased with the current drama. 

“I didn’t mean to… I pressed the button… I didn’t know what it meant…” Kaworu said, looking as if he just went through another timeline where he had to sacrifice himself for Shinji. “Does this mean I’m what the lilim call sus?” 

“Kaworu, you were the… IMPOSTER!?” Shinji fake-gasped, hoping that Kaworu would play along (he didn’t). 

“I thought you knew!? WAIT, DO YOU NOT KNOW I’M AN ANGEL EITH-” Kaworu had started lose his fucking mind live on Twitch dot tv so Shinji decided it would be best to interrupt. 

“KAWORU LETS FUCKING KISS!” Shinji screamed so hopefully his twitch viewers can hear him. He saw the chat explode and new viewers coming in rapidly and his eyes changed into those fucking money signs like in the cartoon. LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO! 

Obviously since Kaworu had been through like probably a hundred timelines where he had to die for Shinji he wasn’t going to turn down kissing him, even if it was for queer”bait” Twitch viewers. “YES, BUT ALS-” 

Shinji leaned in for a kiss for some sweet sweet twitch subs. When he saw someone donated FIFTY DOLLARS TO HIM, he pushed Kaworu away (well Shinji has shrimpy ass arms so it’s more like lightly pushed) and started screaming “POGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!” and actually kissed Kaworu. 

“KAWORU THAT’S LIKE FIVE DOLLARS ONCE I SUBTRACT WHAT MISATO TAKES!! WE’RE FUCKING RICH!!” At this point, the Among Us game was completely abandoned, seeing as everyone in the game was voting for Kaworu no matter what. 

“WE CAN BUY… OUR OWN DINO NUGGIES!! AT TARGET!! NOT KMART!!” Shinji was having the best day of his emo, emo little life. 

Shinji hopped onto the discord vc to tell everybody in his gamers only discord server (that he personally mods) the good news. Unfortunately, before he could do that, Asuka stormed into his bedroom. 

“YOU LITTLE FUCKER HOW DID YOU MAKE FIFTY DOLLARS OFF OF QUEERBAIT WHEN I GET YOUR HANDS ON YOU I’LL BEAT (domestic volience (great grammer guys) is not okay :( unless if it’s shinji ikari) THE SHIT OUT OF YOU AND-” Asuka said, preparing to break Shinji’s $10,000 gamer setup. 

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! DIS ISH SO MEAN >_<” Shinji began to KYAA, hoping that it would make his Twitch chat think he was a tumblr softboy (it didn’t work because he’s fucking shinji (#FUCKSHINJI get it trending)). 

“WHY DO G*AY PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVE TO WIN WHAT THE FUCK WHO DONATED THAT I’M GONNA BREAK YOUR GAMING CHAIR-” 

Just then, Kaworu got up and got into a fighting stance. (NO WAY!!!) 

“FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!” Kensuke started screaming on the discord voice chat with his shitty snowball mic while Toji joined in. 

Shinji saw the number of people who were coming into his live stream was booming (NOW ONE THOUSAND PEOPLE??!?!???!??!??!?!??!) and decided it was time to capitalize off this just like r/memeeconomy taught him to. 

He stepped in the middle of the fight and said, “GUYS! I know there’s only one of me but there’s enough of me to go around.” Shinji then flashed his classic smile that he copied from Sonic the hedgehog. (OMG EVANGELION REFERENCE HEDGEHOG DILEMMA!?)

Asuka literally growled, “I’M GOING TO KILL BOTH OF YOU!!” and Shinji decided it would be a good time to pretend to be a softboy again (#fuckshinji) 

“KYAAAAA DON’T FIGHT OVER ME GUYZZZZ BUT PLS PLS I NEED TO BE PROTECTED KAWORU >_< SAVE MEH LULZ!!! NYA” and Kaworu PUNCHED Asuka! (THIS IS SO CRAZY!) 

Suddenly, Shinji switched to sports commentary mode, “Annnnd Kaworu goes in with the punch, a pretty bold move to start with.” 

Misato bust in, trying to see what the racket was all about. “Now what is going on in here youngsters?” Misato said, suddenly switching to a southern accent since she had one too many white claws. 

She noticed that Kaworu and Asuka were fighting and saw Shinji nodding his head frantically and rubbing his hands together like he was trying to express that they could make BIG money off of this. 

Well, Misato never turned down a great way to earn a few bucks off of exploiting Shinji’s labor and starting talking like a sports commentator as well. “WHAT MOVE IS KAWORU GOING TO COUNTERACT ASUKA WITH?!?!??!? WILL IT BE MUY THAI? TAEKWONDO???? MAYBE EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF KA-RA-TE(she say it like spong bop 😲)?!?!?!? I KNOW A LITTLE BIT OF WWE MYSELF!” 

The boxing sound effect started to play from Shinji’s shitty phone speakers, and he was starting to envision the like 3 dollars he could make off of this. 

“ANNNND KAWORU KICKS ASUKA’S SHIN!!” He commentated, hoping to god he’d win so that they could start a couples prank channel on Youtube. 

SUDDENLY, Kensuke burst into the room with an entire TV crew from the WWE people “SIGN THIS CONTRACT SHINJI!! WE’RE PUTTING YOU ON FOOD NETWORK!” 

“I KNEW THIS COULD BE MY BIG BREAK!!!!” Shinji yelled and immediately tried scurrying around to find a pen(pen) to sign the contract. 

Unfortunately, Shinji hadn’t been paying attention to the fight enough and realized instead of fighting Kaworu, Asuka BROKE HIS FUCKING GAMING MIC AND HEADSET. “No… No…” Shinji said, tears falling out in disbelief. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” 

“ANNNND THATS A WRAP- USE THE CODE KENSUKEDOESIT ON THE WALMART WEBSITE FROM 10% OFF ON DINO NUGGIES!!” Kensuke said to the camera, having captured the most EPIC FIGHT that Shinji had probably ever witnessed. 

Shinji, however, was fucking crying laying on the floor. “I HAVE TO SPEND ALL OF THE MONEY ON NEW GEAR… ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS GET QUEERBAIT MONIES….” Kaworu walked up to him and looked even more guilty than when he had killed him in Among Us. 

“I’m sorry Shinji… I’ve failed… the couples pranks channel will have to wait…” 

Finally, the live stream ended. Shinji got up from the floor and wiped away his tears to check his stats. 

_ 40 new subs / total of $70 from donations / 3000 viewers _

“THAT’S IT! I’M GOING TO BE AN AMONG US STREAMER! JUST WATCH, I’M GOING TO BE THE NEWEST FAMOUS GAMER!”

END


	2. DATING SIM LIVE STREAM?!???!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS! SHINJI PLAY DANGAN RONMPLES BUT HE PIRATETDTEDED IT !!!!!! anyways uhhh hope you like dinglerample references aka references to dooglesmoogle aka references to the fingers in his ass guy

It was a new day. After Shinji’s previous Among Us …. Snafu (haha do you guys understand this tumblr 2015 word choice(FUCK OFF its a good word)), he decided to play a much less competitive game, especially after the new gear Misato bought him being much more softboy streamer oriented.

“Kaworu hand me my cat-ear headphones-” He asked, ready to fully embrace being a catboy for the Pinterest using teenage girl that considers themselves ‘spicy straight’ crowd. 

“What game are you going to play now?” Kaworu said, handing him his pink cat ear headphones and his ‘gamer fuel’ (doritos with extra cheddar and mountain dew of course). 

After Shinji shaking and crying after he finished his livestream because Asuka bullied him for being shit at Among Us (fucking loser), he decided to take a short break from the game and picked a game that he said was popular on twitter. 

Shinji put on the headphones and turned on his light-up UwU-themed keyboard from 2017, “Danganronpa,” he told him, “the perfect game to queerbait with.” After seeing the amount of shitty komahina fanart on tumblr drawn by 1teens with scenec0re carrds, he knew what had to be done. 

“Am I going to have to be what the lilim call ‘sus’ again...?” Kaworu asked hesitantly, not wanting to relive the nightmare that was the shame of being what the lilim call ‘sus’. (kawoshin moment)

“Well no, Danganronpa is somewhat similar to Among Us but it’s a-” Shinji said, reciting what he read from an instagram infographic (SHINJI LOOK AT INSTA DISCOURSE ACCOUNTS!?) he read about Danganronpa before he was interrupted.

“Shinji, your package came in!” Misato said, dropping a large cardboard box onto the floor. 

“YES!!!! MY SHUICHI AND KOKICHI COSPLAY CAME IN!!!” Shinji said, quickly opening the box. He can already predict the money coming in if he and Kaworu queerbaited as Shuichi and Kokichi during his danganronpa livestream. “Here Kaworu, put this on.” 

“Okay, what is it?” Kaworu asked, trying to understand both how the fuck putting on wigs works and also the ways of his pseudo-queerbaiting Twitch streamer boyfriend. (KYAAAAAAA)

Shinji was already finished getting into his cosplay, as the idea of making like 2 dollars could make anything possible for him to do. 

“You’re dressing up as the gay one.” Shinji knew nothing about Danganronpa other than what he had read on wattpad at 3 AM, so his knowledge of the characters was limited. 

“What are what the lilim call ‘gay’?” He asked, getting into Kokichi cosplay. “Is it like ‘sus’??”

“It’s exactly like sus,” (OMG SHINJI NOO!! HE WILL MISSED UNDERSTOODS! ) Shinji said, putting on his cat ear headphones. “Do you think twitch will ban me because I pirated Danganronpa?” 

“Shinji, you said I don’t have to be what the lilim call ‘sus’...” Kaworu looked down at the Kokichi cosplay scarf in his hands, “Did you lie?” (kokichi moment) clearly he had completely ignored that Shinji pirated a game that only costs like 20 dollars. 

“Among us sus and gayass sus mean two different things Kaworu,” Shinji said, before briefly running over to the computer to start his twitch stream so he can capitalize off an ‘accidentally’ queerbait(HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT’S NOT FUCKING QUEERBAIT!!11) moment. “Here, let me show you what it means on urban dictionary.” 

Kaworu stared at the screen of Shinji’s shitty iphone 3 that he got at a flea market for 20 dollars, “Shinji, am I gay?” Shinji somewhat ignored Kaworu’s realization to focus on the fact that this was a fucking SUPERB queerbait monie moment. 

“Fucking shit I accidentally started streaming!!” (Devilman ova reference) Shinji said, pretending as if he was surprised. “You guys didn’t see anything, right?” now THIS was going to give him donations. 

“Am I gay Shinji? Shinji, really, am I g-” Kaworu’s question was cut off by Shinji, “LETTTSSSS FUCKINGGGG GOOOOOOOOO 3 DOLLAR DONATION!!!” his queerbait plan had SUCCEEDED once more, and the dino nuggies of his dreams could soon be his if he kept it up. “THAT'S LIKE 3 DIMES WHEN MISATO TAKES HER CUT HOLY SHIT!!” 

After cheering and chugging a whole bottle of mountain dew, Shinji sat back down on his gaming chair and started playing his pirated version of Danganronpa V3(SHINJI STEELED IT WOW), ready to capitalize off the apparent ‘gay moments’ in it. 

Kaworu continued research on the word gay on his ipod nano in the corner of the room, “So I AM gay…” he announced, and another Twitch donation came in for… “10 DOLLARS!?!? HOLY SHIT!!!” (omg!) And another mountain dew was fucking slammed. 

Shinji barely even needed Danganronpa for queerbait, but it certainly helped, as it turns out the version of v3 he had pirated had been heavily modded to include Komaeda. 

“What the fuck is Dangan Salmon Team?” Shinji said. “Guys, is this supposed to happen? I booted up the game and it lead to this menu, did I do something-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP SHINJI! I’M TRYING TO STREAM MINECRAFT BEDWARS OVER HERE! GO FUCK YOURSELF AND TELL YOUR SHITTY BOYFRIEND TO SHUT THE FUCK UP TOO!” Asuka yelled from her room. 

Shinji screamed back to her, “NO YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ASUKA I HATE YOU AND MINECRAFT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ANY FUCKING QUEERBAIT IT IN YOU DUMBASS HOW ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ANY FUCKING MONEY-” he stopped for a sip of The ‘Dew™. “AND I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW KAWORU ISN’T SHITTY HE’S ACTUALLY REALLY COOL AND-” 

“Shinji, why does this ‘Komaeda’ lilim sound so much like you?” (THATS SOOOOOOO META AND FUNNIE RIGHT GUYS(WE ARE COMEDYS!!)) Kaworu had started to watch the game over his shoulder, after being absolutely shocked by the definition of gay on urban dictionary. 

“It’s because we have the same voice actor,” Shinji said while eating his doritos. (NO WAY 4 WALL BROKED!?) “MISATO CAN YOU GET ME A PINK MONSTER???? I NEED IT FOR TWITCH MONEY!!” 

Misato walked in with the requested Monster in an instant, with the declining stocks of NERV (thanks to Shinji using r/wallstreetbets) Misato had no choice but to rely on Shinji and Asuka’s streaming careers for her main source of income. “Your TikTok drink, sir.”

Suddenly, Kaworu made a realization, “KYAAAAA komaeda ish liek our gaybie LULZ!!!” he KYAAA’s (NO FUCKING WAY 2011!?!) “He looks liek meh and sounds liek yu >///<”

Shinji thought this would be a great opportunity to get more donations and started playing along. “xD will u be the komaeda 2 meh hinata kaworu owo???” He said, channeling his inner tumblr user. He quickly checked the comments to see the reaction.

TWITCH CHAT

Imposter12345: what the fuck is this gay shit i thought this was just for among us content

GAYSSUCK4206969: kaworu seem kinda sus lmao… #fuckthegays #sub2ASUKA_GAMEZ

KOKICHIX_X: KYAAAAAAAAAAA KAWORU IS SUCH A CUTE GAYBIE!!!!!!!!! DROOLS and theres fucking shinji i guess…………

SHUICHI_KIN_X3: uhmm… i actually kin shinji… why can’t he be a gaybie too… thats rlly rude of u… 

KOKICHIX_X: omg a shuichi kin?!??!??!??!?!?! Nyehehheheh…… pounces on u >_<

SHUICHI_KIN_X3: UHMMM DNI DNI YOU DON’T SHIP KAWOSHIN CLEARLY… JUST ANOTHER KAWORU FAN… UR GOING ON THE BLOCKLST :// 

KOKICHIX_X: i can pretend to be a kawoshin shipper for you :3 what if we kindated NYEHEHHEHEH thats a lie!!!!!!!! Unless…………

GAYSSUCK4206969: fucking homosexual furries this is why no one watches your streams shinji 

SHUICHI_KIN_X3: who are you what’s an asuka btw 

KOKICHIX_X: maybe i was born into this world just to meet you 0_o

SHUICHI_KIN_X3: k-kokichi… nyaaaaa!! >//< did u just quote KAWOSHIN FOR ME??? 

KOKICHIX_X: in other words……. i luv u >u< or whatever the fuck i said in the anime timeloop ANYWAYS KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA LETS GET MARRIED!!!

Shinji stared at his twitch chat in disgust. Was this what Danganronpa fans were like? He thought that he could get some sweet cash because he heard it was a queerbaiting game but he didn’t expect the fans to be like that… (TWITTER MOMET!)

“Shinji… that user GAYSSUCK4206969 said i’m what the lilim call sus… does she mean I am gay or…. The other sus…” Kaworu shuddered while staring through the bangs of his Kokichi cosplay, terrified by one of Asukas alt accounts.

“Probably the gay kind seeing as you called Komaeda our gaybie…” Shinji started, trying to ignore the oumasai kinnies in his chat having a wedding ceremony, “40 DOLLAR DONATION!?!?!” Okay, maybe Danganronpa fans fucking suck, but their monies don’t!!11! 

There was a message to the donation saying ‘romance kokichi or i’ll dox you xP’ in typical Danganronpa fan behavior. Shinji quickly got on Dangan Salmon Team because he had the same password for every single account that he made (including his paypal, cashapp, social security, and gofundme, the password is kaworus_bf1). 

“Okay guys, let’s see what happens,” Shinji smirked much like video game character Sonic The HedgeHog, putting on his usual gamer persona (OMG THATS A VIDBEO GAME TOO!!) 

“What the fuck is a love hotel scene-” (fucking danganronpa fan) he asked his queerbait-liking viewers, acting as if he hadnt researched danganronpa queerbait for 10 hours running on purely monster energy. “OH MY GOD IS KOKICHI…. A GAY!?!?” 5 donations. 

“NO WAY!!!!!!! SO IM A DETECTIVE?!?!?!?!” Shinji said, pretending like he was shocked. “SHUICHI IS KOKICHIS IDEAL?!??!?!??!??!?! (disclaimer i have nothing to do with fucking danganronpa(fucking lier you danganronpa FAN)FUCK OFF YOU ACTUALLY WROTE DANGANRONPA FANFICTION(YOU HAVE A MAID KOMAEDA ICON. FUCK OFF WITH THE DANGANRPNPA FAN SHAMING SMH!!!!!!!!!!11!)) NO WAY…….. THAT'S JUST LIKE ME AND KAWORU!!!” Shinji instantly got a $30 donation after saying that. 

Just then, a knockoff Gucci convertible crashed into Shinji’s room, with a driver that appears to be… a Komaeda kinnie? Either that or he’s just straight up Satan, either works, maybe both. 

No matter what he was, he literally fucking destroyed Shinji’s gaming setup. “WHAT THE FUCK WHO ARE YOU!?!?!?” Shinji screamed at the top of his lungs, ripping off his Shuichi wig in rage. 

“OH FUCK /r WRONG FIC AKIRA /r START THE ENGINE WE'RE GOING BACK IN TIME-” screamed the Reeyo, and as if it was only a dream, the shameless reference to a different fanfiction by epic and cool very cool ao3 users spicycrab and rosyinnie (shameless plug read fuckingf s(a)tan twitter(NEW CHAPTER IN MARCH)) was gone. 

However, the damage had been done. “Shinji, was that what the lilim call a Danganronpa fan?” Kaworu asked, unbothered by a fucking time traveling car. I guess he’s seen some shit in timeloops. 

“MY GAMING SETUP!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH INTEREST I HAD TO PAY MISATO SO SHE WOULD BUY ME A NEW ONE!!” Shinji said, angry crying and starting to hyperventilate (manga evangelion moment(omg kawoshin KISS!?!? No fucking way KISS!!!)). “THIS IS SO UNFAIR WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST FUCKING CRASH INTO ASUKA’S ROOM INSTEAD!!” 

“I’m sorry Shinji, this was not the happiness you desired…” Kaworu began to monologue, “perhaps there will be what the lilim call a twitch donation and then-” 

He was suddenly cut off by Shinji who in his head had a cartoon lightbulb over his head like a genius (he’s not.). “THAT’S IT!!” he fucking screamed so that the Twitch chat could hear him, even though his webcam was broken. “GIVE ME… UH, CPR!!” 

“What’s an cpr.” 

“IT’S UH…… ITS WHERE YOU UH... ITS WHERE YOU UH HELP SOMEONE BREATHE…” Shinji said, obviously being the master at giving explanations. “ITS WHERE YOU HELP SOMEONE BREATHE BY PUTTING YOUR UH… MOUTH ON THEIRS…” 

At a loss for words, Shinji decided to queer”bait” even harder, “UH, YOU JUST, KISS!!” As you can see, if this was an actual emergency and not about Shinji needing new cat-ear headphones, someone would have already fucking died. 

“How do you do that?” Kaworu asked and before he could say anything more Shinji started hyperventilate-crying (he did that fucking thing where you cry while gasping for air idk what its called FUCK RUBY SPELL CHECK FOR ME (WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!?!?)) (OH NVM YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT FUCKING WHEEZING THANKS FOR CLARIFYINGHJ) and then dramatically fell on the bed. 

“ARE YOU OKAY!?” Kaworu started to actually panic, seeing as his head WASN’T exploding and yet something bad was happening. HOW?!?! Suddenly though, he just remembered a BASED thing that he did many moons ago, (manga hehe *giggles a bit*(chapter 68 reference))(the fact that you know the exact chapter…))(FUCK OFF DANGANRONPA PFP! I DONT NEED TO TAKE SHIT FROM YOU!)(you talk like a 4chan user and practically are one roasted)) and kissed- I mean- gave CPR to Shinji. A homie classic, if you will. 

Shinji immediately stopped hyperventilating. Who knew homie CPR could cure panic attacks? (kaworu did, it already worked in the chapter you memorized clearly))(fuck off you literally SAID you memorized the entirety of episode 24(THAT IS DIFFERENT!!11! FOR ONE DID YOU KNOW THAT I REWATCH THE EPISODES ALL THE TIME BECASE I AM THE EVANGELION MASTER FUCK OFF)) After the homie CPR moment, Shinji looked at his broken HDR widescreen monitor and saw 70 new viewers joined. “LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! CAN’T DO THAT, HUH ASUKA?” 

SUDDENLY, Asuka burst in the room, fucking fuming, “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. THE GAY AGENDA REALLY DOES EXIST, HUH!?! I’VE HAD IT WITH THESE HOMOS*XUALS, AND SO HAS MY GIRLFRIEND REI!!” And she launched a fucking rocket into Shinji’s setup, destroying it even further, it was now in flames. 

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I COULDN’T EVEN CONFIRM IF I GOT ANY DONATIONS FROM THAT!!! I HATE YOU ASUKA! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU-” Shinji said, now hiccuping while crying as he started shaking.

The stream had completely ended without them even playing Danganronpa. Shinji couldn’t even queerbait as oumasai with Kaworu because SOMEONE fucking broke his webcam. He dropped on the floor, now bursting into tears but not before he checked his paypal. /d (ALL MEN DO IS LIE!!11! #KOKICHI MOEMNT!?))(fucking kokichi fan ew)) (i dont remember being the one who was “fake” rp-ing as komaeda calling kokichi a smol bean))(FUCK OFF!!!!!! DONT BRING UP MY DARK AND MYSTERIOUS PAST!!)((this was yesterday)

“1,000 DOLLARS!?!?!” Shinji JUMPED for joy. An absolute win for pissbabies everywhere. TikTok by Ke$ha started playing from Asuka’s rocket launcher, and his destroyed setup turned into orange juice. All was right with the world. “LETSSSS FUCKINGGGGG GOOOOOOOOOO” 

“What’s that Shinji? You made 1000 dollars?” Misato smiled and opened her Wells fargo bank account. “Well… You know what that means…”

“MY MONEY……..” Shinji said as he watched Misato transfer $998 dollars out of his paypal. Shinji started choking back his tears while Asuka was dying of laughter. (ASUKA IS…. BASED!?!?!?!?)

“YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

90 new subs / total of $1000 from donations (stolen by misato…) / 6000 viewers

END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rosyinnie A/N: finished the chapter with special help from a certain kokichi kinnie thats right im talking about you spicycrab i see you and your fucking CAT EAR kokichi pfp (FUCK OFF - spicycrab) anyways hope u enjoyed this chapter (^_^)
> 
> Spicycrab A/N: finished the chapter with special help from a certain KOMEDA KINNIE. I SEE you. I fucking see you. Don’t hide from me jess. (FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME IM NOT A KOMAEDA KINNIE. I PUT IN MY FUCKING MAID KOMAEDA PFP BECAUSE OF A DARE. YOU CANT FUCKING DO THIS TO ME I WILL FU - rosyinnie ^w^(lol danganronpa fan - spicycrab)) You can’t. X3 ANYWAYZ LULZ!!1! HOPE U LIEK TEH CHAPTER AND MAKE SURE 2 GIV KUDOZ AND COMMENTZ XD !!


	3. WARNING: SHINJI PLAYS THE SCARIEST GAME IN YEARS?!?!?!? (MARKERPLYER!?!?))

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enjoy the new chapter, bitches. sorry this is out 1 day late, SOMEONE (rosyinnie) was kin assigning me as KARKAT last night even though I've never even read homestuck and now we have homestuck kawoshin pfps so that was distracting, anyways, hope you guys like this chapter and die at least once while reading! - spicycrab

After Shinji finished live streaming Danganronpa (and breaking all of his set up(lol fucking loser)), he decided it was time to broaden his horizons. Shinji decided to pick up the new hit game on tumblr, ‘Five Nights at Freddys’. 

“Another sus game- oh.”Kaworu began to ask before looking closely at Shinji’s screen, “Oh….” and stopped in his tracks. “You’re playing… this game, Shinji?”

He sat in a chair next to Shinji’s new icarly-themed 7,800,009 dollar gaming chair that Misato bought him, probably with laundered monies. (but we won’t be talking about that) 

“It’s called Five Nights at Freddy’s! I heard it was the SCARIEST game made in years!” Shinji said, putting on his $5000 black cat ear headphones now with surround sound. (from 2017 egirl aesthetic to 2021 eboy aesthetic!??!)“Kensuke told me that I would get a TON of views from playing it!” 

Kaworu nodded his head, thinking back to a certain… timeloop of sorts. “....that Are (another spicycrab spelling error classic i see(SHUT UP KAWORU USING “ARE” WHERE IT SHOULD BE “IS” IS SO FUNNIE FUCK OFF))(the only thing funnie about it is the fact you don’t know what GRAMMER IS)(LoL. Fucking HaHa. HA. HA. i hope you get turned into komaeda tomorrow.) nice……” deep in thought, Kaworu didn’t even notice that Shinji had began streaming, probably in hope that Kaworu on screen would bring in the queer”bait” monies. 

“HAHAHAHA GUYS ISN’T MY BOYFRIEND SO FUNNY HAHHAA HE SAID ‘ARE’ HAHAHA” fucking pathetic(eoe moment did you guys catch that. Did you guys catch the eoe reference we made(its a good MOVIE guys its soooo good hahaha please watch it hahahahha WATCH THE DAMN MOVIE)). 

“Alright guys,” Shinji said with his voice cracking. “I’m going to start up Five Nights at Freddy’s. I’m sure it won’t be THAT scary.” Kaworu looked at him, knowing what happened in the previous timeloop and not saying anything. 

It took a total of 3 minutes before Shinji had been jumpscared by Chica, because he’s a fucking noob and he sux. “KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!” He screamed at the top of his lungs like the pissbaby he is, “KAWORU, SAVE ME!!11!” 3 donations. Kaworu ended up taking that very seriously. 

Kaworu took Shinji’s $5000 black cat ear headphones now with surround sound and like a pro gamer started switching back and forth from the cameras. “HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS KAWORU??” Shinji asked, watching in amazement as Kaworu was able to know exactly where the animatronics were.

“...I’ve got practice,” Kaworu said as he quickly shut the door the moment he saw Bonnie in the hallway. Of course, when Shinji saw this he started shaking and crying out of fear because Bonnie was so close to the office. 

“KAWORU WATCH OUT BONNIE’S GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU-” Shinji was sobbing on the floor, petrified with fear. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this…” Kaworu’s GAMERSONA had finally manifested into reality, or uh, not reality but, um, anyways, he closed his doorway INSTANTLY on Shinji’s $700 light-up mouse with an Among Us mousepad. 

It was now 4 AM in the game, and Kaworu was fucking KILLING it (no way!), the chat started to donate money because he was a PR0_L33T_GAM3R and not because he queerbaits. Shinji was still in shock. Kaworu was just in shock that they made FNAF into a game. 

After getting sick of hearing Shinji scream every 5 seconds, Asuka stormed into Shinji’s room only to find Kaworu being an ELITE FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS GAMER. (WOAH!!! WHAT A FUCKING PRO!!!! HE IS SO EPIC!!) “What the fuck is going on here?” Asuka asked, watching Kaworu being absolutely unfazed by this disturbance and quickly turning on the lights to find Foxy near the door. 

“BE QUIET ASUKA!!!! CAN’T YOU SEE KAWORU IS BUSY?!?!??!?!” (FUNNIE CLASSIC) Shinji said, watching Kaworu play the game that HE was supposed to stream intensely before screaming when he saw a jumpscare. 

“You’re playing five nights at freddys? Pussy ass game. That shits for little kids, I would never be scared by-” Asuka said before she started screaming when golden freddy appeared out of nowhere on the screen. Surprisingly, Kaworu remained calm throughout all of this. Something like he already went through this before. 

Now both Shinji AND Asuka were pissing their pants over Five Nights At Freddys 2014 Video Game for Computers That Is A Hit. take THAT one, liberals. Fucking pwned. “KYAAAAAAA!!! KAWORU HOW ARE YOU NOT SCARED!?!?!” Shinji tried to pull Kaworu away from the desk, not wanting to see even one more jumpscare. 

However, Kaworu was absolutely DETERMINED to beat the game. “Hulllooo everybody my name is Kaworu Nagisa and welcome to Five Nights at Freddy’s an indie horror game that you guys suggested en mass and I saw that Shinji played it and he said it was really really scary-” He began to speak much like a certain GAMER who may or may not be his ultimate role model, but for copyright reasons will not be named today. 

“So i’m veeerry eager to see what is up, and that is a terrifying animatronic bear-” He continued, never stopping to even breath. (OMG IS KAWORU AN ANGEL!?))(someone CLEARLY missed the entire point of evangelion *smierks*(what the fuck are you talking about he literally is an angel you evage*ks user))(YOU WERE THE ONE ASKING IF HE WAS AN ANGEL OR NOT!!!!! FUCKING KOKICHI KINNIE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU(ITS SUPPOSED TO FUNNIE FUCK OFF IM TRYING TO LITERALLY EN H A N C E OUR FIC BUT NOOOO YOU JUST HAVE TO GO AND CORRECT ME JUST… FUCK YOU)) 

Meanwhile, Asuka was reloading her rocket launcher in fear. 

“Let’s check the twitch stream!” Shinji said, frantically opening the chat since he didn’t see any recent donations so far. He WASN’T QUEERBAITING ENOUGH!! How was he supposed to get views if Kaworu was actually good at the game?!?!?! 

TWITCH CHAT (lol more like bitch chat)

Rei38837228932: i didn’t know the last timeloop got turned into a game 

Imposter_Fan_4: ???what the f*uc is a timeloop :omegalul: bad enough that these guys queerbait but now “shinji” has to get his “boyfriend” to “play” fnaf for him…. 

KOKICHIX_X: I LUV FNAF XDDDDDD ITS MAH FAVORITE GAME~!!!!! SO GLAD TO SEE U GUYZ PLAY IT EVEN THOUGH THAT BITCH SHINJI FROM THE OTHER TIMELINE IS PLAYING IT!!!!!!! TEEHEE 

Dangan_ronpa_fan_2008: lol… ur such a fake kokichi kin lol….. ITS “NEEEHEEEHEE”.... Not fucking TEEHEE….. Fuck off………..fucking nerd 

TOJIPROGAMES101YT: Shinji why are there so many Gay people in your twitch chat lmfao kind sus……….... 

KAWOSHIN_IS_CANON_9: ummmmm wow HOMOPHOBIC!!!!!11 ummm if you watched my video “KAWOSHIN PROOF #6” you’d know that they r TOTALLY DATING so OBVIOUSLY THERE’S “GAY’ PEOPLE!1! Get with the times LOLZ, mah ship ish canon XD 

redwasIMPOSTER12321: where are the fucking among us gameplay…… watched for among us not five night at freddys. Unsub! 

Shinji stared at his screen in horror, “UNSUB!?!?” he started to cry and scream like the pissbaby he is, “KAWORU WE- UH, HAVE TO- UH- KISS AGAIN!!” 4 donations on the spot. 

Kaworu didn’t take his eyes away from his fnaf tasks, he couldn’t let Shinji die in Five Nights at Freddy’s, let alone in real life. “KAWORU SERIOUSLY WE HAVE TO KISS IT’S A FUCKING CRISIS” Shinji tried, pointing at his sus(HAHHAHAHAHAHA AMONG US)piciously low amount of donations. 

Kaworu was unfortunately distracted by Shinji’s whining and the fucking fnaf music box song played. (omg!!) “KAWORU, WHAT’S HAPPENING?!??!??!/1?!?” Shinji said. The lights inside the room started flickering on and off.

“WHATS FUCKING HAPPENING??!??!?!?!?” Asuka said. The fucking fnaf music box song WASN’T coming from the computer anymore. Kaworu stood completely still, reliving his war flashbacks when he had to go through the five nights at freddys timeline (completely real you can double check there was a five nights at freddys timeloop(FUCKING LIER I HATE YOU!!! YOU LIE!))(are you mad because im a better kokichi kinnie than you(neeheehee…. Maybe i am… OR IS THAT A LIE!?))(HAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING DANGANRONPA FAN(FUCK OFF YOU HAVE A MAID KOMAEDA PFP)). 

“Shinji, come with me,” Kaworu started say, backing away slowly from the gaming set up and grabbing Shinji’s hand, “We have to get out of here-” Asuka was not at all amused and started to reload her rocket launcher but this time with Taco Bell mild sauce, which was known to keep away both animatronics and pissbabies. 

“KYAAAAAAA KAWORU ARE YOU RESCUING ME X3” Shinji KYAAA’d, assuming that Kaworu was playing along with his queerbait masterplans. SUDDENLY however(grammer master over here(fuck off im being suspenful)), FREDDY FUCKING FAZBEAR (FNAF 1))(thanks so much for clarifying which game it is(FUCK YOU HE’S IN SOME OTHER ONES)!1!1! Im happy to know that its from FNAF ONE NOT THE OTHER 11 DIFFERENT FREDDY VARIANTS!1!11!(YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY, YOU UNGRATEFUL KOMAEDA KINNING DUMBASS!!1!!)) JUMPED OUT OF SHINJI’S GAMING SETUP!! 

“I DIDNT FUCKING BUY FNAF VR HELP WANTED I THOUGHT I BOUGHT THE FIRST ONE KAWORU WHAT IS THAT?!?!??!?!?!?” (OMG WHAT IF FNAF 40 COME OUT!?! Guys is this game theory)Shinji screamed as the music box fnaf song grew louder. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” 

Shinji actually fainted at the sight of Freddy Fazbear in the flesh (uh not flesh but im not gonna be tumblr funnie here and be like ;) MORE LIKE ;3 METAL!!11! Like fuck off with that))(what the fuck does this mean(it means that i hate tumblr comedy tropes from the early 2010s that have leaked into mainstream media and still wont fucking go away))(shinji kinnie)(ACTUALLY fuck off im not a shinji kinnie im actually cool okay dont let my 600+ saved kaworu images fool you))(you’re an evangelion fan i think that already explains enough)(are you really any better though you watch game theory fnaf videos in 2021) and Kaworu had to unintentionally appease the queerbait twitch chat by carrying Shinji out of the room. (Asuka had to fend for herself, but thats what she gets for getting into a WWE fight with him)

However, the twitch stream wouldn’t end there. Kensuke and his business partners, Toji and Mari, had hidden secret cameras (Fnaf!>!?!?!?!?!?!) inside of both the house AND the entirety of Tokyo-3. (Fuck off i dont care about logic ok) As Kaworu began to literally sprint for his life towards the nearest Pizza Hut with Shinji passed out in his arms, the Twitch chat watched it all happen and all they could do was spam :omegalul: like the filthy danganronpa kinnies they are. 

When Shinji and Kaworu got out of the apartment (as well as Asuka after blowing Misato’s apartment up) Freddy Fazbear from the game Five Nights At Freddy's 1 disappeared. “THANK YOU SCOTT CAWTHORNE FOR SPONSORING THIS CHAPTER! CHECK OUT FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS AFTER READING THIS CHAPTER AND I HOPE YOU LIKED TODAYS STREAM!!!!!!” Shinji yelled out. That’s right, every single one of Shinji’s pissbaby crying and shitting was all FAKED. (WHAT1!! WHAT!!!!!!!) Shinji somehow was able to make a deal for more MONEY from a sponsor by THE CREATOR OF FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS HIMSELF!1!1 

After that turn of events, Kaworu felt both relieved and somewhat betrayed, but mostly relieved since he didn’t want to relive that fucking fnaf timeloop. “Shinji, was that what the lilim call ‘queerbait’?” He asked, completely unbothered by the fact that Misato’s apartment was completely blown up. 

Asuka started to scream, “WHAT THE FUCK!! BECAUSE OF YOU H*MOSEXUALS AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING STREAMS NOW WE HAVE TO BUY A NEW FUCKING HOUSE!1! AND MY ROCKET LAUNCHER IS GONE!” But who gives a shit, because a house hunting arc would be funnie as hell, right guys!?!?!?!1!????

Kensuke and his camera crew came out from behind a building, “Sign here, we’re putting you guys on the WWE-HGTV channel.” and Shinji, the pissbaby he is, signed it. “KYAAAAAAAAAAA KAWORU WE GET TO BUY A HOUSE!!1!” (OMG KAWOSHIN MOMENT!! GUYS THIS IS KAWOSHIN!) 

“No you’re not,” Misato said, taking away Shinji’s WWE-HGTV contract out of his hands. “My house, my rules. That means I AM going to be searching for a new apartment that will look exactly like the old one we were living in.” 

Shinji started to WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA uncontrollably, “WHAT THE FUCK MISATO YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING THIS IS LITERALLY SO FUCKING UNFAIR….” the WWE-HGTV crew stood there filming, knowing that this would make great TikTok content. “KAWORU WHY DON’T WE JUST BUY A HOUSE WITH TWITCH MONEY, HUH!?!!?” 

“Thank you for reminding me Shinji!” Misato said and immediately pulled out her chase bank account. “Don;t forget you have to transfer 90% of your twitch earnings to me!” 

“NO….NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!1!1” Shinji started to lose his fucking mind once again “YOU CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS TO ME…. YOU CAN’T….. MY FNAF MONIES….” scott cawthon creator of five nights at freddys has sponsored him. AND FOR WHAT. FOR WHAT!?!?!? THIS IS SO FUCKING UNFAIR GUYS #JUSTICE4PISSBABYS.

Kaworu sighed sadly, “I’m sorry Shinji, this isn’t the epic gaming what the lilim call An queerbait moment you wished for….” he began to say his classic monologue once again, seeing as there’s only so long you can drag out like 4 jokes for an entire chapter like this. (4th wall!???? OMG!)

In between all this, Shinji had the brilliant idea to check his Twitch subs on his cracked screen jailbroken iPhone 3 (among drip case). “2000 NEW SUBS!?!??!” 

Shinji could see the potential money that he could make off of this and immediately started ordering FNAF merch. Apparently there were like 70 more games in the FNAF lineup so Shinji could PROFIT off of this. 

“LETSSSSS FUCKKIJNNNNGGGGG GOOOOOOOOO” he screamed at the top of his lungs, probably waking up like 10 people. (his voice isn’t THAT loud, he’s a pissbaby but he’s not good at anything) 

Kaworu looked around, “‘Go’ where?” he asked, asking verbatim that shitty anitwt meme from like 6 months ago. Asuka scoffed at the resident g*y people, “yeah, I did blow up Misato’s Ford car after all.” 

“YOU BLEW UP WHAT?!?”

2000 new subs / total of $9000 from FNAF sponsor (stolen by misato…as always) / 100,000 viewers

END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spicycrab A/N: would you guys unironically watch WWE-HGTV. Asking for a friend. (I would if komaeda was in it - rosyinnie) oh okay X3 NEW DANGANRONPA FIC LULZ!!1! (didn’t you write multiple danganronpa fanfiction you are the last person i would want to hear that from - rosyinnie 0w0) Uh anyways, SHUT THE FUCK UP ROSYINNIE i am an acomplished danganronpa AUTHOR. (i refuse to forget your famous work ‘Kaede Dies to the Five Nights at Freddys 2 Song’ - rosyinnie) ANYWAYS who wants to see my 600 kaworu images. The numbers grow by the day. (FUCKING LOSER! REAL CHADS WATCH ALL OF MATPATS 42 FNAF GAME THEORY VIDEOS! - rosyinnie) XD STAY TUNED 4 CHAPTER 4 0_o
> 
> Rosyinnie A/N: can you tell that we never plan our chapters. thats right imposter sus is being written LIVE (IMPROV!! - spicycrab) as we fucking conjure up words and immediately put that on the google doc in comic sans. NO WE’RE NOT FUCKING ROLEPLAYING. (YES WE ARE - spicycrab))(NO WE ARE NOT. - rosyinnie) ITS DIFFERENT OKAY. (IT ISN’T DIFFERENT AT ALL - spicycrab))(FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - rosyinnie) anyways plz giv kudoz n bookmark >w< (fuck off scene kid - spicycrab))(i like your shoelaces)(ACTUALLY fuck off oh my god i know what the answer to that is i hate myself)(THEN SAY IT YOU COWARD.)(thanks i got them from the president *shoots you with cool gay people gun*)

**Author's Note:**

> Spicycrab A/N: KYAAAAA HAI GAIZ XD DO U LIEK MEH FIC LOLZ *punches you to death* I HOEP U THINK ITZ GOOOO0000D BECUZ TEH KAWOSHIN ISH CANON IN IT 0//0 LULZ I LUV AM0NG US XD *starts stabbing you*
> 
> Rosyinnie A/N: a/n: OMG DO YOU THINK SHINJI WILL BE THE NEW DREAMISNOTFOUND >_< WHAT IF EVERYBODY ON TWITTER CHANGED THEIR @ TO SHINJIDOESGAMING?????? LETS BREAK TWITTER WITH #SHINJITWITTER


End file.
